My wife hated tomato juice.  Wouldn’t drink it and she explained why:  “It’s too salty and its texture is like glue softener and the taste is like ass.”

This was gonna be a tough battle.

“How about you try a Bloody Mary?” I asked.

“Why’d I do that?  That’s just gonna ruin two nice shots of vodka and waste my Worcestershire Sauce.”

“How about you try a Bloody Maria?”  I asked.

“No.”

“Well I’m gonna make one and you take a taste and if you like it I’ll make you one.”

‘No.”

“Great!”

So I made one.  Used my usual Bloody Mary recipe and substituted tequila for vodka.  Now I had never made a Bloody Maria in my life.  But it was football Sunday and Mimosas are feeble with football. I was gonna get her to like some form of tomato-juice drink and I’m not quittin’ till I do. I gave her a taste.

“Here – take a taste.”

Very minimal sip. Followed by a slightly bigger sip. Licked her lips. Slowly. “Hey…you know that’s not bad. More punchy than a Bloody Mary and thanks for going easy on the hot sauce. I kind of like that.”

“Cool.  You want me to make you one?”

“No.”

David’s Bloody Maria

3 oz gold Tequila. Sauza or Hornitos are both workable. Cuervo if you have no other options.

Juice of one lemon wedge into the glass followed by the wedge itself.

4 oz tomato juice. I prefer Campbell’s Low Sodium.  Sacramento Tomato Juice is the best bet, if you can find it.

2-3 healthy dashes of Worcestershire sauce

6 good shakes of celery salt

4-6 liberal twists from your pepper grinder.

1-3 dashes of hot sauce if you like a macho kick*

Fill a Collins glass with ice. Add the tequila, then the tomato juice, Worcestershire sauce, celery salt (not celery seed. Not regular salt), pepper, and hot sauce. Stir. Toss in the lemon. Take downstairs to watch NFL playoffs.  Take off shoes/slippers/Crocs.  Put feet on couch/ottoman/girl’s lap/dog’s back.

Forget the rest of your troubles, brother.

*optional